I just can't fix it...

Do you have those people in your life that you would move the world for? The ones that have touched your heart in such a way and are so special for you there's nothing you wouldn't do for them? Do you have people that feel that way about you? People that have sacrificed so much for you and for what would make you happy? I'm so blessed to have both sets of people in my life. There are those that I know would give their life for me. There are those that I know would stand up and try to keep me from hurt that someone might cause me. There are also those that I'd do the same in return for and I'd settle for nothing less than kicking some one's tail that's trying to hurt them. I think the coolest thing about it is that for the most part, they are the same people. The same people that would stand up for me are those that I'd stand up for.

That's not where the hard part is for me. I'm fine with standing up to help with people's battles and do everything I can't to cause people not to hurt. My hard part is when life throws those things at those people I love. When those people I love are working so hard to get their lives together and things happen that I can't control. When is it too much? Well of course the answer is never. I know God never gives us more than we can handle, but do we really genuinely believe that? I don't think we do. We've all had those moments when we wake up and think we can't possibly take another step because if we do we will surely die. It's in those moments that we find out who we truly are and our character is either made or broken. I'm fine with dealing with the hard things I'm dealt, but I hate having to see those I love and care about so much go through it. I hate knowing the world of those that I love is crumbling down and there's nothing I can do about it. If you know me at all, you know I love control and being out of it isn't something I like. That's where this issue hits home with me. The trials and hardships my closest friends face, I can't control. I can't make my brother ok. I can't fix his problems and make him have a relationship with God. I can't control the things his mind has seen that haunt him everyday. I can't help my friend dealing with broken relationships and friendships that once existed. I can't provide comfort for a friend that feels they have no one left. I won't be able to make my friends ex-husband disappear or erase the pain he's caused and I'll never be able to make someone that's hurt her so deeply not show up to a meeting she doesn't even belong at to begin with. I simply can't... and I hate it.

I can't fix it, but guess what? I know the one who can. I'm on a first name basis with the one that created my friends and knows the number of hairs on each other their heads and guess what? God never wastes our pain (a very wise man said that!). It's not my job to fix my friends problems or to make them go away. Sure I want to snap the neck of anyone that causes them pain, but that's not my job. I'm supposed to show them the one that can and I'm supposed to pray for them. Even though there are days I don't like it, the strongest battle I can fight is on my knees. It's not about being in control or having the power to change it. If I really could I would surely screw it up! I'm to lift them in prayer... pray that God would lavish his love and his peace over them. There are so many days that I want to be in control and that I want that power, but there are even more days that I know if I did it would be disaster. So that's me today, praying for my friends and praying God provides them with unspeakable peace and joy. That he puts his arms around them and they feel his presence. I'm sure I'll need to be reminded that I'm out of control yet again... perhaps in just a couple of hours!