My dad...

There's this connection between daddy's and their little girls. It always seems there's a special connection with moms and their boys, too but the daddy/daughter factor is a beautiful thing. I love my dad... he's always be been my hero and my knight in shining armor. He was my coach, my leader, my pastor... he's my daddy. He's been there for me even when I didn't realize that he was or care to pay attention.

Somewhere in the bustle of life, my dad and I kind of 'lost' a bit of our connection. The details aren't important, but the lesson from the story was most valuable. Instead of remembering the times my dad was there for me, I chose to pick out the one time I felt like he let me down. I forgot that he, too was in fact human. I guess a little part of me thought he was perfect. I knew God's grace was sufficient for me and that I needed that grace, why was my dad any different? I could deal with my screw ups (and there were many), but somehow I thought he wasn't allowed to screw up. I was quickly reminded that while I'm a girl in need of a Savior... my daddy was just another boy in need of a Savior.

Over the past couple of months my dad and I have had a chance to reconnect with one another. Day by day and moment by moment, we've gotten little bits of that relationship back that I took for granted. My Christmas at home was great and I felt like we were truly a 'family' again. Today I got an e-mail from him. It was so special to me and I sat here reading it with tears streaming down my face. I'd like to share a portion of that with you:

I am grateful for your direction upward and the drive outward. I know you can do anything. You have been special since your first breath. I will be praying for your quest and that your life be safe. I love you baby and miss you greatly. Keep your head up and see the floor. The open opportunities are always in the gap. love, Dad

Keep your head up and see the floor... those words make me smile! I remember him telling me that every time I hit the basketball court. The open opportunities are always in the gap... how true is this statement? While the pass is always the open opportunity in the gap, life's the same way. I have learned so many things from my dad and I continue to do so... just in a simple e-mail. I don't want to take my relationship with him for granted anymore. I don't want to have to move 1200 miles away to find out just how special he is to me. To have a dad that prays for you... and a dad that believes in you... it doesn't get much better than that!

Dads, remember every opportunity you have to pour into your daughter's life is a special moment in which she can learn from you... and she loves you and is proud of you... even when you lose your cool points! Daughters, remember to never forget to tell your daddy just how much he means to you... don't wake up having to lose him to find out just how special he really was.

My dad, my hero, my #1 coach forever... I love you and am so proud to call you MY daddy!

A Christmas Homecoming...

I love Christmas. The time between Thanksgiving and Christmas is my absolute favorite time of year. Everything about it makes me happy! It's so much fun preparing for Christmas with decorating, making cookies (and my new found favorite Oreo bark), getting a tree and shopping for gifts. I'm not sure where that month went this year because before I blinked... it was over!

I've never really lived away from home. I went away for college, but it was only an hour and a half and every holiday I've been with my family for the most part. This year, I moved to Indiana. I wasn't home for Thanksgiving, but got to go home for Christmas. It's no secret to anyone that knows me things with my family for the past few months have been more than tense. Distance has healed, but what happens when you go back for the first time? Does all that tension stay gone or does the hard-headed opinions of everyone come crashing together Christmas morning? I was excited to go home, but also very apprehensive. There were so many things going through my head about being back home. Between my parents, my brother and my old lifestyle staring me back in the face in the small town of Winter Haven, I wasn't sure how I would stand up.

My homecoming was more than sweet. It was one of the best times I've ever had with my family. I saw God's grace all over the place! My brother and I were able to get closer and I hopefully made a positive impact on his life, my parents and I had an awesome time together and I was able to spend time with precious friends... with a 3 week old baby, a little basketball and a little wrestling mixed in. My time was so great, I fought with not wanting to come back to Indiana. A place that had scarred me so deeply... a place that defined who I had been... a place that I swore I would never come back to... I quickly forgot it all and wanted to be back there. Was it because my brother was back? Was it my parents and I were ok again? Was it because it's where a special couple that's like a mom and dad to me live? Was it because I found a new family with a new big sister and new nephews that live in the area? Maybe it was a combination of things and maybe it was just because this place was so different than when I left... but when I got away, I realized going back wasn't the answer. The answer is that I'm in Indiana for a purpose... God put me here. The rest is in his hands. It's not my job to decide to go back because the puzzle pieces are back where I think they need to be... it's to follow God's path for my life. The truth is that he put me here for a reason and I have responsibilities here that I'm to carry out and people who I care about and that care about me.

I don't know about you, but that's so like me. I take a situation and see it through my eyes instead of through God's. I see a situation that I feel like is right, but what does God see? I think I want to be back because things seem ok. God might see something else. I was too busy and wrapped up in the moment to see the big picture. How often would we see things differently if we stepped out and saw what God saw... if we looked at the outcome instead of looking in the moment? How differently would we see things if instead of looking on impulse, we look through prayerful eyes?

Yes, my Christmas Homecoming was good... in fact it was great. But that's what it was... a homecoming. And I'll have another one, and another one... and I'm sure that many times after each one I'll have to be reminded to look at the bigger picture... because God's looking out for me all the way through the end of the game... not just the end of the 1st quarter!

Amazing Grace...

God has been teaching me so much about grace lately. Maybe he's always been trying to teach it... I've just recently been deciding to listen! I think it's a word we hear and we just take it so flippantly... we don't let it transform our lives the way we should. To be granted grace... is one of the most precious things we can be given. Not only do we as Christians receive it, we're supposed to live like our life is different because of it.

God has extended me so much grace in recent times. I have felt his presence so clearly in my life and been amazed by that transforming power of grace. It's not just about receiving it... it's about living a life that's been changed by grace. The online dictionary gives one definition of grace as being 'the freely given, unmerited favor and love of God.' The freely given... you see grace didn't cost us anything and unmerited basically means we don't deserve it. God did all the work. It's our job to accept it and live like it makes a difference in our world.

I love the song 'Grace Flows Down'. It's one of my very favorites. In the verse it says 'Amazing Love, now flowing down. From hands and feet, that were nailed to the tree... as grace flows down and covers me'. I love the picture of grace flowing down from the nail scarred hands of our Savior and Lord. Not only does the song say it 'flows down', but it covers. We can pray that not only for ourselves... but for others as well. Pray that God's grace will pour over them and keep them protected and they will be filled to overflowing with his love and favor. I am praying that for someone right now. That they will feel God's grace pour out from Calvary and cover them. That they will know his power is made perfect in their weakness and they can live a life in victory. If I don't believe grace has changed my life, how can I pray for this person to live a life changed by grace? I want to show him that a life of victory in grace isn't about anything that I have done... it's all about what Christ has done because on my own... I am nothing. A great friend once told me... 'What we cover, God uncovers. What we uncover, God covers'... that's grace.

Faith...

"Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen." Hebrews 11:1

I've gotten out of the boat... I'm standing in the middle of the water with the waves crashing around me and a steady eye on my Savior... but I'm out. Faith is a beautiful thing. The very essence of the word makes me smile. Listen to what the NLT version of Hebrews 11:1 says:
"Faith is the confidence that what we hope for will actually happen; it gives us assurance about things we cannot see. " I love this translation. It doesn't say that I have confidence in something that might happen or something guess could happen... it says the confidence that what we hope for WILL ACTUALLY HAPPEN. I don't know about you, but that makes me want to shout.

I am praying through a situation right now and I'm just having to put the faith in God. I'm having to trust him to handle the situation because the fact of the matter is that I'm 1200 miles away... there's not much I can do and even though I'd like to think otherwise... if I were right in the middle of the situation I couldn't do much either. God is teaching me to not only rely on him but rely on him with faith. I can't just lean on him and wish for the best... he desires for me to have faith that what I want and hope to happen is going to because he can make it. He wants me to live in assurance of what I can't see instead of only trusting what I can. The truth is that sometimes it's not easy to have the faith. I'm not trusting just a situation I'm entrusting a person to him... someone I love SO much and that's one of the most important people in my life. I have to know that God is in control and as much as I think I love this person... it's not a fraction of how his heavenly father feels about him. If there's anyone better to entrust him to... who better than his Savior and Lord... the one who fashioned him and knows the number of every hair on his head. I'm believing God for big things with a faith that screams 'gonna happen'.

I'm trusting and believing and I'm out of the boat. No matter how big those waves get I want to stay out of that boat and keep my eyes fixed on the Savior. I give this to him with the knowledge that I can do nothing on my own, but all things through him. I know and believe that he is the author of all things good and he has a perfect plan for us... one for good and a future and not for harm. Regardless of the outcome of this situation... may God simply be glorified and may I continue living in bold, radical, life-changing faith.

Get outta the boat...

On Wednesdays, a couple from work has starting having the singles over for dinner. We have great food and instead of just talking about sports, or tv, we get into some real spiritual issues and talk about where we are in our lives and what we're dealing with. A particular friend of mine had the night tonight and he came up with a theme. He talked about Peter stepping out of the boat and how the other disciples sat in the boat. It really challenged me to think of where I am in my life.

Moving here was a huge step out of the boat. In fact, it wasn't a step.... it was a huge head first dive (which is usually how I do most things). The point... not much. I stepped out of the boat and it's over. Done. I did it. Move on. I can't keep using that as my 'step out in faith'. It's a daily battle... as the battle to die to self is daily... the stepping out in faith is right in there. I need to see where I am right now... what have I done this week to step out in faith for God, what have I done today? Some days stepping out of the boat is easy because we want to be radical and we want to be different. Other days that nice dry boat is comfortable and nothing short of a sprung leak is getting us out of there. I don't want to be 'content'... I want to be radical. The thing I'd hate to be called would be 'normal or plain'. I want to step out on faith and know that my God is there to catch me. I want to step with the confidence of a God that's already won the war.

If there's anyone in the Bible that can give us hope, surely it's Peter. How many times did the poor guy just stick his foot in his mouth? (I think that's why I like him so much). More than that, for me Peter was radical. Whatever he did he gave it 110% (yes, I know, I said 110). He denied Jesus 3 times, said ridiculously stupid things, fell on the water because he took his eyes off Jesus... but who did the Savior say he would build his house upon?! Peter... the rock! When it gets right down to it... where are we any better than Peter? I want to be a Peter... I want to give God everything I have... even if sometimes I say the wrong thing or do the wrong thing... I want him to know I'm radically dedicated to him. I want to serve him with reckless abandon and I don't want to spend another day inside that boat watching the others that are walking side by side our Savior amongst the waves.... I want to be there with him.

Live for Today

Life often throws us curve balls... I don't always like to think of them as 'curve balls', but rather as times of God testing our faith and complete reliance on Him. There are a lot of those tests that I fail. Other times I pass with flying colors because I simply let God handle it and realize that I'm in fact... not in control. There are so many times I look back and wish I'd done things differently or wish I had stepped out on faith a little more. While I can't change those choices I made, I can do the next thing right.

I had a very close person in my life pass away from cancer very recently. She was like a grandmother to me. I moved to Florida when I was 13 and both of my grandmothers lived in North Carolina so she adopted me as one of her own. We'd do many things together and I don't think I had a basketball game in the state of Florida that she missed. As things happen, little kids turn into big kids and have lots of things going on. We still managed to try and stay close and in fact did the best we could. I was able to see her a lot over the course of her cancer fight, but at one point she moved with her daughter to South Carolina. When she was in remission, she moved back to Florida and I was busy... very busy. I didn't have time for anything... in fact I didn't make time for anything other than what I wanted to do. I always said 'I'll get with you soon'. Long story short I never did and moved to Indiana. When I got the phone call that she had 48 hours to live... one haunting thought ran through my mind. It was a Sunday morning and I see her face as clear as if it were yesterday asking me one simple thing... 'Can we please do lunch sometime soon. I miss you and would love to catch up'. Of course I said yes and never did. The memory still bothers me. I always remember that I never did. I never saw her again because I was simply too busy. Hours before she fell into the loving arms of our Savior, she asked about me and how I was doing. Honestly, how could I not spare an hour of lunch...

I want to live for today. Plain and simple, short and sweet. Live in the moment and not miss the opportunity to be a blessing or let others be a blessing to me. I'm challenged today to tell people that are important to me just that... that I love them and they are important. My friends make me smile. (Addi, Kristi, Nicole, Suz, Bobby, BK, Jonathan, G$... you've become the best friends a girl could ask for). They light up my life and are so special to me. They need to know that. I want my parents to know that even though we've had our ups and downs and disagreements, frankly, it doesn't really matter anymore. I just love them and I miss them and I want them to know how blessed I feel to have them as parents. I want them to know they are so special to me. The fact of the matter is... I don't want to wake up tomorrow and realize that I don't have the chance to tell them anymore.

Failure sucks. I hate it. I'm competitive and I hate losing... anything. My friends can atest to that. Unfortunatley I've failed many times and I've failed many people, but I can do the next thing right. I can tell that next person that I love them or be that encouragement they need. As the Dwayne Wade commercial says... Fall down 7 times... get up 8. I'm getting up... I'm on a much higher number than 8... but I'm up... up and living for today.

Priceless

Gas to New Orleans: $200.00
Hotel Room: $150.00
New team apparel: $50.00
Going to see Notre Dame play in the Sugar Bowl... PRICELESS!

A P32

I've thought about it... a lot. I've heard all about the P31 woman and who she is. I've decided that I am not now, nor will I ever be one. (And I'm ok with that). I think that instead, I'm a P32 girl. P32... when P31 just doesn't cut it.

Redeeming Love

I just got finished reading the most incredible book. It's called 'Redeeming Love'. I actually read it in less than a day. It could possibly be one of the best books I've ever read. The story is set in the 1850s, but it's based on the story in Hosea... where he marries a prostitute, she runs and he has to buy her back out of slavery. It's an awesome book and I think every girl in America should read it. The story is all about the power of a redeeming Savior.

Pretty much anyone that would read this blog knows I've made many mistakes in my life... most of which I'm not proud of at all. I'm floored at the grace and forgiveness that God bestows on us. I'm amazed when I read something like the story of Hosea and see the redemption that God can give. It never matters what's been done in the past or how many times we have screwed up... he's still there. I think the concept is a hard grasp for me because I have had people leave me because of things I've done in my life. If they don't leave then they certainly judge you or look at you differently because of choices you have made. I believe there are consequences to sin, but when you ask God for forgiveness... he just forgets. I think we as people dwell on what others think of who we are or what we've done... when God's redeeming power has already saved and forgiven us. It's an incredible concept for me and almost unfathomable. I'm tired of caring what the world thinks and who they say I am. I know who God says I am and quite simply... I am his. I'm his daughter, his child, his love. I want to live in that... to sit and rest in the fact that I am who God says I am... the rest doesn't matter a whole lot. God has redeemed me. He has made me new and that person I was... doesn't exist anymore... as long as I don't let her. God has forgotten her and it's about time I do, too.

Stand up and fight

I have to admit I've always been more of a fighter than a peace maker. I enjoy fights (not physical... haha) and sometimes I've even been known to pick them. More than fighting, I love to win. It's just my nature and I'm not always proud to admit that. Sometimes winning becomes my motive. It's not about the fight or about why I'm doing it... if I win I'm happy. It can become disaster when my flesh gets in the way. Although the mentality has gotten me some good places in my life, it's also gotten me some not so good places. Like any trait we possess, it can be turned and used for good. God can make something of my competitive winning attitude and use it for HIS good.

(If you have not seen the movie the Patriot and care, do not continue reading) In one of my favorite movies, The Patriot, Mel Gibson's character, William has just lost his son in war. He was terrified for his son's life and his greatest fear came true. William left his family to fight with his son, but when he was killed, he wanted to go home. They challenged him to stand up and fight with them anyway. He left, but when he remembered what he was fighting for... he comes riding up on a horse carrying an American flag... it's one of the most moving scenes in the movie. I don't usually have a problem with standing up and fighting, but that energy needs to be focused in the right direction. Instead of fighting or arguing with everyone that comes in my path or everything that doesn't go my way, I need to focus that energy on fighting the true battle... the one for Christ. I need to remember that he's already won the war... I'm just doing my part to gain soldiers for this battle. God wants us to fight... even when we don't feel like it and even when we're so tired we can't see straight... he desires to have all of us giving him everything we can. Honestly, is that a whole lot to ask for considering he sent his son to die for us? In the grand scheme of things... not only does it not seem like that much, it doesn't feel like it's enough...

Just a girl...

in need of a Savior. Yep, that's me. If I could pick a statement to define me, I think that's what I would choose. When I was 9, I had the privilege of asking Jesus to come into my heart and take over my life. Even at the young age of 9... I realized I just needed a Savior... unfortunately I didn't live like it. I've always been somewhat of a tough person and I like to do things on my own, my own way. Being 'saved' isn't my idea of a fairytale. I'd rather be scoring the winning basket in a game... that's my kind of story. I lived a lot of my life like that. It was what I want, when I want it... and it was usually now. Life was about what I could do and how quickly or good I could do it. Everything was a competition and if it wasn't, I would find a way to make it that way. I felt like being 'saved' meant I was weak... and the last thing I wanted to be was weak. There's nothing wrong with ambition in life, but there comes a point where we all have to realize that we all need saving. I was a Christian for 14 years before I really understood that I was just a girl who's in need of a Savior. Instead of feeling like the world was against me and I was fighting my way to the top, I found out that Jesus chose to save me... and had to die to do so. Of course I knew the story, on paper and in my head I knew it all. It was a heart issue... I had to feel it. I had to understand truly just what that Savior had done for me... for only me. I had to get (and am still learning everyday... right, Suz?) that having to be saved doesn't make me weak... it makes me strong... because in my weakness and in my vulnerability (I know, I hate it, too) then he is strong. I will go back to the verse over and over in 2 Corinthians 12... for when I am weak... then I am strong. At the end of the day... we're all just boys and girls in need of a Savior. Instead of being defined or represented by jobs or status or anything else of this world... lets just simply be girls and boys... living this life one day to another... knowing that we are nothing without our incredible redeeming Savior.

Friends

Yes, it was a very popular TV show of which I was a huge fan... but it's also something we all, if we're blessed, have. I have been reminded a lot this week about how grateful I am for my friends. I think it's safe to say that most of the ones I count as my 'best' and 'closest'... I haven't known longer than 2 months. It's kind of funny how God does those things. When I changed my life and lost most of my close friends, I prayed God would give me a solid group of friends that were desiring to live godly lives. I had a very lonely 7 months. God put people in my life I needed at the time, but he didn't give me a solid group because he knew he was going to move me to Indiana... so he gave them to me here. Once again... God knew and I didn't! One of these days I'm going to drill that into this thick head of mine! God provided me with the most solid group of friends I could ask for and I love them so dearly. I can't even express how cool it is to have a group of young singles that are desiring to walk godly lives and are willing to call me out in a heartbeat if I'm not doing it! We laugh, we cry... we have amazing times together and I've known them for about 5 weeks. God is SO amazing and even though I shouldn't be suprised (considering he can do anything)... I never want that amazement to go away. I always want to be amazed at what God does and stunned by his majesty and glory.

God also provided a family for me through a group called Tres Dias. I've made some incredible (and interesting) friends through this group and he knew I needed them. One big haired twin in particular... I've gotten to know SO well. She's been SUCH a blessing and an inspiration to me. It's amazing how God puts someone in your life that's been where you are... and can relate after she's already been through it. I am so thankful she is in my life and that I can learn from her everyday. God has brought two people in particular back into my life that had been out of it sometime to be major encouragements to me. One let me live with her during a trying time and another came in just when I needed her. Friends are an amazing thing. I believe God's all we need to get through it, but boy do friends help. I love being able to call any of these people at anytime and ask them for a prayer or know that if I needed anything in this world, they would be there. Thanksgiving is over, but I don't want to ever lose sight of being 'thankful. My awesome brother in Christ, Paul says in Philippians 'I thank my God every time I remember you'. Those words bring a smile to my face. I want my friends to know how thankful I am for them. You all are a true gift from God and I'm so excited to learn from each of you. Thank you for being my friend!

Such a time as this...

You know those sacred moments of grace? Those ones that appear months after you represented God so boldly, but you felt like no one noticed and even if they did... they could care less? I got one today. It's the coolest, most reassuring feeling in the world. It means more than God showing you when you do it. 7 months ago I stood for God more bodly than I ever have in my entire life. I knew people were aware I had done it, but they didn't care. In fact, most of them hated me for it. 7, almost 8 months later, I had one of those friends tell me that they remembered how I stood up and that I was right and they respected me for my decision. They said even though they didn't understand at the time and they didn't like it then, they get it now and want to stand for God now as well. I don't know about you, but that makes me want to shout from the mountaintops!! It's so cool when anyone gets on fire about God, but I can't tell you how exciting it is for someone from my former group of friends. I honestly didn't expect to really speak to any of these people again... God had different ideas. I certainly didn't give him enough credit. It was so incredibly exciting for me that God rewarded my faithfulness. We often wonder why God doesn't answer our prayers or show us 'why' immediately... it's because he has better ideas than we do! He has bigger and better plans than we could ever imagine. When we live for Christ, it shouldn't be about the reward... it should just be that it is living for Christ... even with that, the reward is such a nice bonus! Months ago when I thought no one cared and I felt like I was the only person in this world... God prepared it for 'such a time as this'... a time when someone could see what God had to offer and there were other lives to live... ones that glorify God. And I'll tell you... I wouldn't take back those times when I felt like I was all alone for anything in this world. God is so freakin' awesome!

A Daughter of the King

Everytime I see the phrase, or hear the phrase, it brings a smile to my face. It took some really special friends to make me realize that's exactly what I was. They showed me and reminded me that my Heavenly Father was in fact a King... and I was His daughter. It didn't matter who I had become, what I had done or where I was in my life at that time... I was a princess, and to him I was special. I can't tell you how much I needed that message at the time. One of those friends at times will send me a morning e-mail or a morning chat message that begins with, 'Good Morning Precious Daughter of the King'. I smile everytime I read those sweet words. As comforting as that thought is... it is also challenging. The knowledge that I'm a daughter of the King comes with some accountability... a higher standard and I should start living my life in that way. I need to live my life with the authority and understanding that I am in fact of a royal bloodline. I have some friends that sing in a group and they have a song with a line in it that says, 'unworthy of royal blood that flows through my veins'... how true, but how awesome! Royal blood DOES flow through my veins, but not without a price. Guess what the song is about? Yep, that's right... grace. It's only through grace we are saved and only through that grace do we become children of the King. We weren't born into our royalty... we were adopted... and we weren't free! A price was paid so we could in fact be in the royal family. Let's start living like it! Let's live lives of salvation and freedom, remembering that our daddy is the King and that we are precious in his eyes. In the grand scheme of things, we're just boys, and just girls, in need of a Savior... a Savior that showed up, adopted us and made us children of the Kingdom! I don't know about you, but for me... it doesn't get much better than that!

To Live Is Christ...

Yep, you know what comes next... and to die is gain. I began this title and this blog yesterday and I'm really glad I waited... God knew I should and as always... he's right! This morning a dear friend passed away. She's gone on to be with her Savior and I couldn't be happier for her. Her life was about living for Christ, but her death was gain. She left this earth and entered the eternal embrace of her loving Lord... what a cool picture to imagine.

I think that most of us imagine true 'death' in the statement 'to die is gain'. In the familiar passage of Phillipians, Paul is in prison and fighting with whether to live or to die. I believe he meant very literally that his death would be gain... while I believe that, I also feel that verse 21 can mean something very different.. which he knew. The NLT version says 'For me, living means living for Christ, and dying is even better'. Living for Christ... quite frankly it means 3 words... not about me. Of course while we want to think it is all about us, a life sold out for Christ has NOTHING to do with us... it's all about him. If there's any life we could learn from, it would be Paul's. His example is exactly what living for Christ is all about. Paul was passionate in all of his affairs. When we meet Paul, his name was Saul and he killed and persecuted Christians with a passion... giving 110% to what he felt called to do. Upon his conversion and his name being changed to Paul... he's one of the most radical and influential people in the Bible. He knew nothing on this earth was about him and if it wasn't glorifying God or somehow showcasing God's excellence, he wasn't interested in it.

So we're ok with living for Christ... most days... but what about this dying thing? This one isn't fun, but it's one of the most crucial parts of a radical Christian walk. When I am ready to die to myself... then I can truly experience the power of God in my life. Nothing about that is comforting to us in our flesh... we want the power and we want control. We can die in areas... I'll give God my financial situation or give God my relationships, but all areas? Dying to all self? That's when it gets difficult. I'm never been part of a greater battle in all my life than dying to myself... it's because it's a daily battle. I die on Monday, but Tuesday I wake up... and it begins all over again. God doesn't want part of us... he didn't send Jesus to die on the cross for a portion or for a few sin... the blood of the spotless Lamb covers all of our sin and God desires to have every part of our broken lives. I want to be a Paul... I want to live my life outloud and I want people to know who I serve and why... I want for people to look at me and not see me, but see what God has done for me because I have chosen to live for Him... simply by not living for me.

I Love This Game...

Basketball... I love it. I love most sports, but basketball holds such a special place in my heart. I don't remember not playing and I've been on an organized team since I was 7. For years, I lived it and I breathed it. There's nothing like dribbling down the court, getting someone with a crossover (especially when you're a girl) and making a no look pass to the lane where your teammate catches and scores! It honestly sends an excitment like nothing else. I got to play tonight... and it was awesome. Being on the floor again is one of the most exciting things I can do. I'm realizing that at 24 I'm not quite as young as I used to be. As much as I love the game, watching it on TV, watching live, playing or coaching... how awesome would it be if I could get that excited about reading God's word or about truly knowing Him? Sure we hear the sports analogy of yelling at the football game and sitting in church like it's a funeral... but for those of us that are sports lovers... so much of the game is who we are. Years ago I loved nothing more than being commended for a great game or a great pass. I want to desire being proud of what I do for Christ even more than that. Paul tells us in Philipians to do nothing out of selfish ambition and to think of others as better than ourselves. Sports teach us to make something of ourselves and be a standout. Of course it's not wrong, but sometimes we lose ourselves in doing what gets us noticed. Now don't misunderstand... I'm so competitive by nature and I love to win... but I don't want my desire to compete and win to miss our on the opportunity to live for Christ. I want to love my God like nothing else. I want to think it a privilege to study His word or go to church on a Sunday even more so than playing a pick up game or scoring the winning three-pointer. Of course I will still be back out there next Sunday night... just as excited about getting the chance to play again... but maybe this week in my devotional or when I get the chance to share Christ with someone... it will put that thrill of that game winning shot in the pit of my stomach and maybe bring a little smile to my face.

The Love of My Life...

The Love of My Life... the phrase brings a smile to a blissful couple's face and gets an eye roll from a lonely single person. Others sum their loves up by a child, a vehicle, a sport. The love of a life can take on many forms and the desire to have one can eat a person's soul up. We think of many things as being our loves, as we should, but when do we think of Jesus as being the true love of our life? Sure we all say it because it sounds good and of course when we do it makes us more holy... who doesn't want to be more holy? But what happens when we honestly mean it? What if our entire satisfaction and validation as a person were measured in our Savior's love? I think loves are great and we should all have them, but I also feel (as a single person) that we concentrate our lives on finding that 'true love' and miss out on the fact that Jesus is already that... he's just waiting for us to accept it. I have friends who's entire lives are revolving around the idea of a boyfriend they don't even have yet. I certainly am far from figuring it out and am hoping to learn everyday, but how much more victory could I have in my life if I knew that Jesus was my one true love? I certainly hope to find that earthly true love one day, but how can I expect to find him when Jesus isn't in his proper place as my first true love? I'm ready to wake up knowing that not only does He love me like no one else can, but he gave his LIFE for me... only me. I think if I truly understood the concept of it, then I wouldn't have a problem loving Him how I should. If I woke up everyday with the knowledge that all I am is a girl in need of a Savior and that He has already saved and forgiven me... there would be a lot less lonely nights!

Am I Enough?

Am I enough? I think it's the question we ask ourselves everyday in one way or another. Do we measure up? Do we 'fit the mold'? Do we exceed the expectations? The real question we should ask ourselves is who is the judge of our expectations? Who do we allow to hold the mold that decides we are or aren't enough?
When we look through the worlds eyes, we will never be enough. If we see each other as the world sees us, we will never fit that perfect mold. Instead, we should look at ourselves through the eyes of Jesus. Instead of looking at our sin and who our sin made us, we should look at ourselves (if in fact we are Christians) as new creations. If we measure ourselves by our sin and see who we are because of it, what was the point of Calvary? 2 Corinthians 12:9 says 'His grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness'. How different would our lives be if we lived that way? If we lived LIKE Christ intended us to live with the knowledge that no matter who we are, what we've done or what we will do... Christ's grace is sufficient for ME. That in my weaknesses and in my persecutions, His power is made perfect. Verse 10 of the same passage continues on to say, 'Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me'. 'Rest on me'... I don't know about you, but as we say in North Carolina... those words will preach! It's not when I'm sitting on the mountaintop that I am the strongest... it's in those moments in the valley... those moments that I think I can't take another step and if I do I will surely die... that my God, my Savior and my everything, will take me in His arms, hold me tight and let His power just rest on me. If we lived our lives knowing we are paid for with a price and loved and forgiven by the King of Kings... maybe then we'd realize that we were in fact never enough... He made us enough.