Yep, you know what comes next... and to die is gain. I began this title and this blog yesterday and I'm really glad I waited... God knew I should and as always... he's right! This morning a dear friend passed away. She's gone on to be with her Savior and I couldn't be happier for her. Her life was about living for Christ, but her death was gain. She left this earth and entered the eternal embrace of her loving Lord... what a cool picture to imagine.
I think that most of us imagine true 'death' in the statement 'to die is gain'. In the familiar passage of Phillipians, Paul is in prison and fighting with whether to live or to die. I believe he meant very literally that his death would be gain... while I believe that, I also feel that verse 21 can mean something very different.. which he knew. The NLT version says 'For me, living means living for Christ, and dying is even better'. Living for Christ... quite frankly it means 3 words... not about me. Of course while we want to think it is all about us, a life sold out for Christ has NOTHING to do with us... it's all about him. If there's any life we could learn from, it would be Paul's. His example is exactly what living for Christ is all about. Paul was passionate in all of his affairs. When we meet Paul, his name was Saul and he killed and persecuted Christians with a passion... giving 110% to what he felt called to do. Upon his conversion and his name being changed to Paul... he's one of the most radical and influential people in the Bible. He knew nothing on this earth was about him and if it wasn't glorifying God or somehow showcasing God's excellence, he wasn't interested in it.
So we're ok with living for Christ... most days... but what about this dying thing? This one isn't fun, but it's one of the most crucial parts of a radical Christian walk. When I am ready to die to myself... then I can truly experience the power of God in my life. Nothing about that is comforting to us in our flesh... we want the power and we want control. We can die in areas... I'll give God my financial situation or give God my relationships, but all areas? Dying to all self? That's when it gets difficult. I'm never been part of a greater battle in all my life than dying to myself... it's because it's a daily battle. I die on Monday, but Tuesday I wake up... and it begins all over again. God doesn't want part of us... he didn't send Jesus to die on the cross for a portion or for a few sin... the blood of the spotless Lamb covers all of our sin and God desires to have every part of our broken lives. I want to be a Paul... I want to live my life outloud and I want people to know who I serve and why... I want for people to look at me and not see me, but see what God has done for me because I have chosen to live for Him... simply by not living for me.
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I'm wearing all black again. I thought it was because it was "slimming", but I've decided this is my new official "die to self" funeral attire. I know I died to self yesterday, but lo and behold- today is a new day and time to die to self again. While necessary- it really is quite exhausting.
*cue the procession music*
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