There's this connection between daddy's and their little girls. It always seems there's a special connection with moms and their boys, too but the daddy/daughter factor is a beautiful thing. I love my dad... he's always be been my hero and my knight in shining armor. He was my coach, my leader, my pastor... he's my daddy. He's been there for me even when I didn't realize that he was or care to pay attention.
Somewhere in the bustle of life, my dad and I kind of 'lost' a bit of our connection. The details aren't important, but the lesson from the story was most valuable. Instead of remembering the times my dad was there for me, I chose to pick out the one time I felt like he let me down. I forgot that he, too was in fact human. I guess a little part of me thought he was perfect. I knew God's grace was sufficient for me and that I needed that grace, why was my dad any different? I could deal with my screw ups (and there were many), but somehow I thought he wasn't allowed to screw up. I was quickly reminded that while I'm a girl in need of a Savior... my daddy was just another boy in need of a Savior.
Over the past couple of months my dad and I have had a chance to reconnect with one another. Day by day and moment by moment, we've gotten little bits of that relationship back that I took for granted. My Christmas at home was great and I felt like we were truly a 'family' again. Today I got an e-mail from him. It was so special to me and I sat here reading it with tears streaming down my face. I'd like to share a portion of that with you:
I am grateful for your direction upward and the drive outward. I know you can do anything. You have been special since your first breath. I will be praying for your quest and that your life be safe. I love you baby and miss you greatly. Keep your head up and see the floor. The open opportunities are always in the gap. love, Dad
Keep your head up and see the floor... those words make me smile! I remember him telling me that every time I hit the basketball court. The open opportunities are always in the gap... how true is this statement? While the pass is always the open opportunity in the gap, life's the same way. I have learned so many things from my dad and I continue to do so... just in a simple e-mail. I don't want to take my relationship with him for granted anymore. I don't want to have to move 1200 miles away to find out just how special he is to me. To have a dad that prays for you... and a dad that believes in you... it doesn't get much better than that!
Dads, remember every opportunity you have to pour into your daughter's life is a special moment in which she can learn from you... and she loves you and is proud of you... even when you lose your cool points! Daughters, remember to never forget to tell your daddy just how much he means to you... don't wake up having to lose him to find out just how special he really was.
My dad, my hero, my #1 coach forever... I love you and am so proud to call you MY daddy!
Friday, December 29, 2006
Wednesday, December 27, 2006
A Christmas Homecoming...
I love Christmas. The time between Thanksgiving and Christmas is my absolute favorite time of year. Everything about it makes me happy! It's so much fun preparing for Christmas with decorating, making cookies (and my new found favorite Oreo bark), getting a tree and shopping for gifts. I'm not sure where that month went this year because before I blinked... it was over!
I've never really lived away from home. I went away for college, but it was only an hour and a half and every holiday I've been with my family for the most part. This year, I moved to Indiana. I wasn't home for Thanksgiving, but got to go home for Christmas. It's no secret to anyone that knows me things with my family for the past few months have been more than tense. Distance has healed, but what happens when you go back for the first time? Does all that tension stay gone or does the hard-headed opinions of everyone come crashing together Christmas morning? I was excited to go home, but also very apprehensive. There were so many things going through my head about being back home. Between my parents, my brother and my old lifestyle staring me back in the face in the small town of Winter Haven, I wasn't sure how I would stand up.
My homecoming was more than sweet. It was one of the best times I've ever had with my family. I saw God's grace all over the place! My brother and I were able to get closer and I hopefully made a positive impact on his life, my parents and I had an awesome time together and I was able to spend time with precious friends... with a 3 week old baby, a little basketball and a little wrestling mixed in. My time was so great, I fought with not wanting to come back to Indiana. A place that had scarred me so deeply... a place that defined who I had been... a place that I swore I would never come back to... I quickly forgot it all and wanted to be back there. Was it because my brother was back? Was it my parents and I were ok again? Was it because it's where a special couple that's like a mom and dad to me live? Was it because I found a new family with a new big sister and new nephews that live in the area? Maybe it was a combination of things and maybe it was just because this place was so different than when I left... but when I got away, I realized going back wasn't the answer. The answer is that I'm in Indiana for a purpose... God put me here. The rest is in his hands. It's not my job to decide to go back because the puzzle pieces are back where I think they need to be... it's to follow God's path for my life. The truth is that he put me here for a reason and I have responsibilities here that I'm to carry out and people who I care about and that care about me.
I don't know about you, but that's so like me. I take a situation and see it through my eyes instead of through God's. I see a situation that I feel like is right, but what does God see? I think I want to be back because things seem ok. God might see something else. I was too busy and wrapped up in the moment to see the big picture. How often would we see things differently if we stepped out and saw what God saw... if we looked at the outcome instead of looking in the moment? How differently would we see things if instead of looking on impulse, we look through prayerful eyes?
Yes, my Christmas Homecoming was good... in fact it was great. But that's what it was... a homecoming. And I'll have another one, and another one... and I'm sure that many times after each one I'll have to be reminded to look at the bigger picture... because God's looking out for me all the way through the end of the game... not just the end of the 1st quarter!
I've never really lived away from home. I went away for college, but it was only an hour and a half and every holiday I've been with my family for the most part. This year, I moved to Indiana. I wasn't home for Thanksgiving, but got to go home for Christmas. It's no secret to anyone that knows me things with my family for the past few months have been more than tense. Distance has healed, but what happens when you go back for the first time? Does all that tension stay gone or does the hard-headed opinions of everyone come crashing together Christmas morning? I was excited to go home, but also very apprehensive. There were so many things going through my head about being back home. Between my parents, my brother and my old lifestyle staring me back in the face in the small town of Winter Haven, I wasn't sure how I would stand up.
My homecoming was more than sweet. It was one of the best times I've ever had with my family. I saw God's grace all over the place! My brother and I were able to get closer and I hopefully made a positive impact on his life, my parents and I had an awesome time together and I was able to spend time with precious friends... with a 3 week old baby, a little basketball and a little wrestling mixed in. My time was so great, I fought with not wanting to come back to Indiana. A place that had scarred me so deeply... a place that defined who I had been... a place that I swore I would never come back to... I quickly forgot it all and wanted to be back there. Was it because my brother was back? Was it my parents and I were ok again? Was it because it's where a special couple that's like a mom and dad to me live? Was it because I found a new family with a new big sister and new nephews that live in the area? Maybe it was a combination of things and maybe it was just because this place was so different than when I left... but when I got away, I realized going back wasn't the answer. The answer is that I'm in Indiana for a purpose... God put me here. The rest is in his hands. It's not my job to decide to go back because the puzzle pieces are back where I think they need to be... it's to follow God's path for my life. The truth is that he put me here for a reason and I have responsibilities here that I'm to carry out and people who I care about and that care about me.
I don't know about you, but that's so like me. I take a situation and see it through my eyes instead of through God's. I see a situation that I feel like is right, but what does God see? I think I want to be back because things seem ok. God might see something else. I was too busy and wrapped up in the moment to see the big picture. How often would we see things differently if we stepped out and saw what God saw... if we looked at the outcome instead of looking in the moment? How differently would we see things if instead of looking on impulse, we look through prayerful eyes?
Yes, my Christmas Homecoming was good... in fact it was great. But that's what it was... a homecoming. And I'll have another one, and another one... and I'm sure that many times after each one I'll have to be reminded to look at the bigger picture... because God's looking out for me all the way through the end of the game... not just the end of the 1st quarter!
Tuesday, December 12, 2006
Amazing Grace...
God has been teaching me so much about grace lately. Maybe he's always been trying to teach it... I've just recently been deciding to listen! I think it's a word we hear and we just take it so flippantly... we don't let it transform our lives the way we should. To be granted grace... is one of the most precious things we can be given. Not only do we as Christians receive it, we're supposed to live like our life is different because of it.
God has extended me so much grace in recent times. I have felt his presence so clearly in my life and been amazed by that transforming power of grace. It's not just about receiving it... it's about living a life that's been changed by grace. The online dictionary gives one definition of grace as being 'the freely given, unmerited favor and love of God.' The freely given... you see grace didn't cost us anything and unmerited basically means we don't deserve it. God did all the work. It's our job to accept it and live like it makes a difference in our world.
I love the song 'Grace Flows Down'. It's one of my very favorites. In the verse it says 'Amazing Love, now flowing down. From hands and feet, that were nailed to the tree... as grace flows down and covers me'. I love the picture of grace flowing down from the nail scarred hands of our Savior and Lord. Not only does the song say it 'flows down', but it covers. We can pray that not only for ourselves... but for others as well. Pray that God's grace will pour over them and keep them protected and they will be filled to overflowing with his love and favor. I am praying that for someone right now. That they will feel God's grace pour out from Calvary and cover them. That they will know his power is made perfect in their weakness and they can live a life in victory. If I don't believe grace has changed my life, how can I pray for this person to live a life changed by grace? I want to show him that a life of victory in grace isn't about anything that I have done... it's all about what Christ has done because on my own... I am nothing. A great friend once told me... 'What we cover, God uncovers. What we uncover, God covers'... that's grace.
God has extended me so much grace in recent times. I have felt his presence so clearly in my life and been amazed by that transforming power of grace. It's not just about receiving it... it's about living a life that's been changed by grace. The online dictionary gives one definition of grace as being 'the freely given, unmerited favor and love of God.' The freely given... you see grace didn't cost us anything and unmerited basically means we don't deserve it. God did all the work. It's our job to accept it and live like it makes a difference in our world.
I love the song 'Grace Flows Down'. It's one of my very favorites. In the verse it says 'Amazing Love, now flowing down. From hands and feet, that were nailed to the tree... as grace flows down and covers me'. I love the picture of grace flowing down from the nail scarred hands of our Savior and Lord. Not only does the song say it 'flows down', but it covers. We can pray that not only for ourselves... but for others as well. Pray that God's grace will pour over them and keep them protected and they will be filled to overflowing with his love and favor. I am praying that for someone right now. That they will feel God's grace pour out from Calvary and cover them. That they will know his power is made perfect in their weakness and they can live a life in victory. If I don't believe grace has changed my life, how can I pray for this person to live a life changed by grace? I want to show him that a life of victory in grace isn't about anything that I have done... it's all about what Christ has done because on my own... I am nothing. A great friend once told me... 'What we cover, God uncovers. What we uncover, God covers'... that's grace.
Friday, December 8, 2006
Faith...
"Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen." Hebrews 11:1
I've gotten out of the boat... I'm standing in the middle of the water with the waves crashing around me and a steady eye on my Savior... but I'm out. Faith is a beautiful thing. The very essence of the word makes me smile. Listen to what the NLT version of Hebrews 11:1 says:
"Faith is the confidence that what we hope for will actually happen; it gives us assurance about things we cannot see. " I love this translation. It doesn't say that I have confidence in something that might happen or something guess could happen... it says the confidence that what we hope for WILL ACTUALLY HAPPEN. I don't know about you, but that makes me want to shout.
I am praying through a situation right now and I'm just having to put the faith in God. I'm having to trust him to handle the situation because the fact of the matter is that I'm 1200 miles away... there's not much I can do and even though I'd like to think otherwise... if I were right in the middle of the situation I couldn't do much either. God is teaching me to not only rely on him but rely on him with faith. I can't just lean on him and wish for the best... he desires for me to have faith that what I want and hope to happen is going to because he can make it. He wants me to live in assurance of what I can't see instead of only trusting what I can. The truth is that sometimes it's not easy to have the faith. I'm not trusting just a situation I'm entrusting a person to him... someone I love SO much and that's one of the most important people in my life. I have to know that God is in control and as much as I think I love this person... it's not a fraction of how his heavenly father feels about him. If there's anyone better to entrust him to... who better than his Savior and Lord... the one who fashioned him and knows the number of every hair on his head. I'm believing God for big things with a faith that screams 'gonna happen'.
I'm trusting and believing and I'm out of the boat. No matter how big those waves get I want to stay out of that boat and keep my eyes fixed on the Savior. I give this to him with the knowledge that I can do nothing on my own, but all things through him. I know and believe that he is the author of all things good and he has a perfect plan for us... one for good and a future and not for harm. Regardless of the outcome of this situation... may God simply be glorified and may I continue living in bold, radical, life-changing faith.
I've gotten out of the boat... I'm standing in the middle of the water with the waves crashing around me and a steady eye on my Savior... but I'm out. Faith is a beautiful thing. The very essence of the word makes me smile. Listen to what the NLT version of Hebrews 11:1 says:
"Faith is the confidence that what we hope for will actually happen; it gives us assurance about things we cannot see. " I love this translation. It doesn't say that I have confidence in something that might happen or something guess could happen... it says the confidence that what we hope for WILL ACTUALLY HAPPEN. I don't know about you, but that makes me want to shout.
I am praying through a situation right now and I'm just having to put the faith in God. I'm having to trust him to handle the situation because the fact of the matter is that I'm 1200 miles away... there's not much I can do and even though I'd like to think otherwise... if I were right in the middle of the situation I couldn't do much either. God is teaching me to not only rely on him but rely on him with faith. I can't just lean on him and wish for the best... he desires for me to have faith that what I want and hope to happen is going to because he can make it. He wants me to live in assurance of what I can't see instead of only trusting what I can. The truth is that sometimes it's not easy to have the faith. I'm not trusting just a situation I'm entrusting a person to him... someone I love SO much and that's one of the most important people in my life. I have to know that God is in control and as much as I think I love this person... it's not a fraction of how his heavenly father feels about him. If there's anyone better to entrust him to... who better than his Savior and Lord... the one who fashioned him and knows the number of every hair on his head. I'm believing God for big things with a faith that screams 'gonna happen'.
I'm trusting and believing and I'm out of the boat. No matter how big those waves get I want to stay out of that boat and keep my eyes fixed on the Savior. I give this to him with the knowledge that I can do nothing on my own, but all things through him. I know and believe that he is the author of all things good and he has a perfect plan for us... one for good and a future and not for harm. Regardless of the outcome of this situation... may God simply be glorified and may I continue living in bold, radical, life-changing faith.
Thursday, December 7, 2006
Get outta the boat...
On Wednesdays, a couple from work has starting having the singles over for dinner. We have great food and instead of just talking about sports, or tv, we get into some real spiritual issues and talk about where we are in our lives and what we're dealing with. A particular friend of mine had the night tonight and he came up with a theme. He talked about Peter stepping out of the boat and how the other disciples sat in the boat. It really challenged me to think of where I am in my life.
Moving here was a huge step out of the boat. In fact, it wasn't a step.... it was a huge head first dive (which is usually how I do most things). The point... not much. I stepped out of the boat and it's over. Done. I did it. Move on. I can't keep using that as my 'step out in faith'. It's a daily battle... as the battle to die to self is daily... the stepping out in faith is right in there. I need to see where I am right now... what have I done this week to step out in faith for God, what have I done today? Some days stepping out of the boat is easy because we want to be radical and we want to be different. Other days that nice dry boat is comfortable and nothing short of a sprung leak is getting us out of there. I don't want to be 'content'... I want to be radical. The thing I'd hate to be called would be 'normal or plain'. I want to step out on faith and know that my God is there to catch me. I want to step with the confidence of a God that's already won the war.
If there's anyone in the Bible that can give us hope, surely it's Peter. How many times did the poor guy just stick his foot in his mouth? (I think that's why I like him so much). More than that, for me Peter was radical. Whatever he did he gave it 110% (yes, I know, I said 110). He denied Jesus 3 times, said ridiculously stupid things, fell on the water because he took his eyes off Jesus... but who did the Savior say he would build his house upon?! Peter... the rock! When it gets right down to it... where are we any better than Peter? I want to be a Peter... I want to give God everything I have... even if sometimes I say the wrong thing or do the wrong thing... I want him to know I'm radically dedicated to him. I want to serve him with reckless abandon and I don't want to spend another day inside that boat watching the others that are walking side by side our Savior amongst the waves.... I want to be there with him.
Moving here was a huge step out of the boat. In fact, it wasn't a step.... it was a huge head first dive (which is usually how I do most things). The point... not much. I stepped out of the boat and it's over. Done. I did it. Move on. I can't keep using that as my 'step out in faith'. It's a daily battle... as the battle to die to self is daily... the stepping out in faith is right in there. I need to see where I am right now... what have I done this week to step out in faith for God, what have I done today? Some days stepping out of the boat is easy because we want to be radical and we want to be different. Other days that nice dry boat is comfortable and nothing short of a sprung leak is getting us out of there. I don't want to be 'content'... I want to be radical. The thing I'd hate to be called would be 'normal or plain'. I want to step out on faith and know that my God is there to catch me. I want to step with the confidence of a God that's already won the war.
If there's anyone in the Bible that can give us hope, surely it's Peter. How many times did the poor guy just stick his foot in his mouth? (I think that's why I like him so much). More than that, for me Peter was radical. Whatever he did he gave it 110% (yes, I know, I said 110). He denied Jesus 3 times, said ridiculously stupid things, fell on the water because he took his eyes off Jesus... but who did the Savior say he would build his house upon?! Peter... the rock! When it gets right down to it... where are we any better than Peter? I want to be a Peter... I want to give God everything I have... even if sometimes I say the wrong thing or do the wrong thing... I want him to know I'm radically dedicated to him. I want to serve him with reckless abandon and I don't want to spend another day inside that boat watching the others that are walking side by side our Savior amongst the waves.... I want to be there with him.
Wednesday, December 6, 2006
Live for Today
Life often throws us curve balls... I don't always like to think of them as 'curve balls', but rather as times of God testing our faith and complete reliance on Him. There are a lot of those tests that I fail. Other times I pass with flying colors because I simply let God handle it and realize that I'm in fact... not in control. There are so many times I look back and wish I'd done things differently or wish I had stepped out on faith a little more. While I can't change those choices I made, I can do the next thing right.
I had a very close person in my life pass away from cancer very recently. She was like a grandmother to me. I moved to Florida when I was 13 and both of my grandmothers lived in North Carolina so she adopted me as one of her own. We'd do many things together and I don't think I had a basketball game in the state of Florida that she missed. As things happen, little kids turn into big kids and have lots of things going on. We still managed to try and stay close and in fact did the best we could. I was able to see her a lot over the course of her cancer fight, but at one point she moved with her daughter to South Carolina. When she was in remission, she moved back to Florida and I was busy... very busy. I didn't have time for anything... in fact I didn't make time for anything other than what I wanted to do. I always said 'I'll get with you soon'. Long story short I never did and moved to Indiana. When I got the phone call that she had 48 hours to live... one haunting thought ran through my mind. It was a Sunday morning and I see her face as clear as if it were yesterday asking me one simple thing... 'Can we please do lunch sometime soon. I miss you and would love to catch up'. Of course I said yes and never did. The memory still bothers me. I always remember that I never did. I never saw her again because I was simply too busy. Hours before she fell into the loving arms of our Savior, she asked about me and how I was doing. Honestly, how could I not spare an hour of lunch...
I want to live for today. Plain and simple, short and sweet. Live in the moment and not miss the opportunity to be a blessing or let others be a blessing to me. I'm challenged today to tell people that are important to me just that... that I love them and they are important. My friends make me smile. (Addi, Kristi, Nicole, Suz, Bobby, BK, Jonathan, G$... you've become the best friends a girl could ask for). They light up my life and are so special to me. They need to know that. I want my parents to know that even though we've had our ups and downs and disagreements, frankly, it doesn't really matter anymore. I just love them and I miss them and I want them to know how blessed I feel to have them as parents. I want them to know they are so special to me. The fact of the matter is... I don't want to wake up tomorrow and realize that I don't have the chance to tell them anymore.
Failure sucks. I hate it. I'm competitive and I hate losing... anything. My friends can atest to that. Unfortunatley I've failed many times and I've failed many people, but I can do the next thing right. I can tell that next person that I love them or be that encouragement they need. As the Dwayne Wade commercial says... Fall down 7 times... get up 8. I'm getting up... I'm on a much higher number than 8... but I'm up... up and living for today.
I had a very close person in my life pass away from cancer very recently. She was like a grandmother to me. I moved to Florida when I was 13 and both of my grandmothers lived in North Carolina so she adopted me as one of her own. We'd do many things together and I don't think I had a basketball game in the state of Florida that she missed. As things happen, little kids turn into big kids and have lots of things going on. We still managed to try and stay close and in fact did the best we could. I was able to see her a lot over the course of her cancer fight, but at one point she moved with her daughter to South Carolina. When she was in remission, she moved back to Florida and I was busy... very busy. I didn't have time for anything... in fact I didn't make time for anything other than what I wanted to do. I always said 'I'll get with you soon'. Long story short I never did and moved to Indiana. When I got the phone call that she had 48 hours to live... one haunting thought ran through my mind. It was a Sunday morning and I see her face as clear as if it were yesterday asking me one simple thing... 'Can we please do lunch sometime soon. I miss you and would love to catch up'. Of course I said yes and never did. The memory still bothers me. I always remember that I never did. I never saw her again because I was simply too busy. Hours before she fell into the loving arms of our Savior, she asked about me and how I was doing. Honestly, how could I not spare an hour of lunch...
I want to live for today. Plain and simple, short and sweet. Live in the moment and not miss the opportunity to be a blessing or let others be a blessing to me. I'm challenged today to tell people that are important to me just that... that I love them and they are important. My friends make me smile. (Addi, Kristi, Nicole, Suz, Bobby, BK, Jonathan, G$... you've become the best friends a girl could ask for). They light up my life and are so special to me. They need to know that. I want my parents to know that even though we've had our ups and downs and disagreements, frankly, it doesn't really matter anymore. I just love them and I miss them and I want them to know how blessed I feel to have them as parents. I want them to know they are so special to me. The fact of the matter is... I don't want to wake up tomorrow and realize that I don't have the chance to tell them anymore.
Failure sucks. I hate it. I'm competitive and I hate losing... anything. My friends can atest to that. Unfortunatley I've failed many times and I've failed many people, but I can do the next thing right. I can tell that next person that I love them or be that encouragement they need. As the Dwayne Wade commercial says... Fall down 7 times... get up 8. I'm getting up... I'm on a much higher number than 8... but I'm up... up and living for today.
Monday, December 4, 2006
Priceless
Gas to New Orleans: $200.00
Hotel Room: $150.00
New team apparel: $50.00
Going to see Notre Dame play in the Sugar Bowl... PRICELESS!
Hotel Room: $150.00
New team apparel: $50.00
Going to see Notre Dame play in the Sugar Bowl... PRICELESS!
Friday, December 1, 2006
A P32
I've thought about it... a lot. I've heard all about the P31 woman and who she is. I've decided that I am not now, nor will I ever be one. (And I'm ok with that). I think that instead, I'm a P32 girl. P32... when P31 just doesn't cut it.
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