Live for Today

Life often throws us curve balls... I don't always like to think of them as 'curve balls', but rather as times of God testing our faith and complete reliance on Him. There are a lot of those tests that I fail. Other times I pass with flying colors because I simply let God handle it and realize that I'm in fact... not in control. There are so many times I look back and wish I'd done things differently or wish I had stepped out on faith a little more. While I can't change those choices I made, I can do the next thing right.

I had a very close person in my life pass away from cancer very recently. She was like a grandmother to me. I moved to Florida when I was 13 and both of my grandmothers lived in North Carolina so she adopted me as one of her own. We'd do many things together and I don't think I had a basketball game in the state of Florida that she missed. As things happen, little kids turn into big kids and have lots of things going on. We still managed to try and stay close and in fact did the best we could. I was able to see her a lot over the course of her cancer fight, but at one point she moved with her daughter to South Carolina. When she was in remission, she moved back to Florida and I was busy... very busy. I didn't have time for anything... in fact I didn't make time for anything other than what I wanted to do. I always said 'I'll get with you soon'. Long story short I never did and moved to Indiana. When I got the phone call that she had 48 hours to live... one haunting thought ran through my mind. It was a Sunday morning and I see her face as clear as if it were yesterday asking me one simple thing... 'Can we please do lunch sometime soon. I miss you and would love to catch up'. Of course I said yes and never did. The memory still bothers me. I always remember that I never did. I never saw her again because I was simply too busy. Hours before she fell into the loving arms of our Savior, she asked about me and how I was doing. Honestly, how could I not spare an hour of lunch...

I want to live for today. Plain and simple, short and sweet. Live in the moment and not miss the opportunity to be a blessing or let others be a blessing to me. I'm challenged today to tell people that are important to me just that... that I love them and they are important. My friends make me smile. (Addi, Kristi, Nicole, Suz, Bobby, BK, Jonathan, G$... you've become the best friends a girl could ask for). They light up my life and are so special to me. They need to know that. I want my parents to know that even though we've had our ups and downs and disagreements, frankly, it doesn't really matter anymore. I just love them and I miss them and I want them to know how blessed I feel to have them as parents. I want them to know they are so special to me. The fact of the matter is... I don't want to wake up tomorrow and realize that I don't have the chance to tell them anymore.

Failure sucks. I hate it. I'm competitive and I hate losing... anything. My friends can atest to that. Unfortunatley I've failed many times and I've failed many people, but I can do the next thing right. I can tell that next person that I love them or be that encouragement they need. As the Dwayne Wade commercial says... Fall down 7 times... get up 8. I'm getting up... I'm on a much higher number than 8... but I'm up... up and living for today.