One of those days...

I had recently decided that I was just going to write funny things on my blog. I feel like there's enough serious stuff out there and I could just write things that would hopefully make people laugh. Well not today. It was one of those days where you feel like the world is against you and around every corner, it's just one more thing. I felt totally ambushed today. There weren't catastrophic things going or anything that was really a huge deal... it was just things that really hurt my feelings or bothered me.

Wednesday night is my bible study and play basketball night. I've been tired and I have a lot of packing to do so I really wasn't looking forward to going (to bible study that is... of course I wanted to play basketball). I decided I would go anyway because of course I would get something out of it. You won't believe what the lesson was on... it was titled 'He'll Raise Me Up'. Uh huh. I sat there with one of those you-have-totally-got-to-be-kidding-me looks with my mouth falling to the floor. It's like God really knows what we're going through *insert shocked expression* One of these days I'll give God a little more credit.

I don't have anything long and profound today (probably no different than normal). I don't have a big shocking piece of info, but I have my experience. Sometimes we hurt... sometimes the smallest little thing can completely shake our world and make us feel like we are nothing. Today was that day for me. Nothing completely terrible happened and I should probably be shot for even complaining about what went wrong in my world, but it just hurt. I hurt and God knew it. God put a friend available for a 52 minute (yes, I looked) phone conversation at a time she's not normally available to talk. God gave me a bible study that didn't matter if anyone else was in the room, it was just for me.

We think we have to go to God all put together. When we've got it all lined up and we're dressed right we decide that's when we tell God, "Ok... here I am. I'm dressed and ready to go. I'm laying my life down at your altar... now raise me up, please." I think if we're honest, we've never got it all together. God wants us broken. He wants us when we are at the end of the rope because in that moment... the moment we feel like we can't take another step for if we do then we will surely die... that's the moment we know we cannot do this on our own and we will never be able to. We need Him. And in the midst of that despairing cry and the act of laying my life down on His altar... He will raise me up. Maybe something like His power is perfected in my weakness. Just a thought...